A new campaign has been launched to get senior citizens and their families talking so they can address difficult issues such as driving, finances, independence, end-of-life issues and even, romance.

‘The 40-70 Rule’ campaign offers seven tips to help adult children talk to their parent’s and 10 tips to help parents talk to their adult children.

Ed Murphy, CEO of Home Instead Senior Care in Ireland, said that the “idea is that if you're 40, or your parents are 70, it's time to start talking—at least about certain senior topics”.

“Likewise, there are many topics that seniors themselves should begin discussing with their children once they are 70 so we’ve also introduced a ’70-40 Rule’ element to the campaign. Some issues can be challenging to discuss in families even where communication is free and open. Research has revealed nearly one-third of adults have a major communications obstacle with their parents that stems from continuation of the parent-child role,” he said.

“In other words, it can be difficult to get the conversation going because the child is still in a child rather than an adult role with their parents. But talking sooner is better than waiting until a crisis has occurred.”

Tips for adult children include: start observing and gathering information carefully and thoughtfully. Don’t reach a conclusion from a single observation; Approach your parents and discuss what you’ve observed and ask them what they think is going on and what they think would be good solutions and talk sooner rather than later.

Other tips include not talking to parents in a patronising way, always try to move toward solutions that provide the maximum amount of independence, being aware that things happening in one area of life can affect change in others (For example, loss of a friend or partner could lead to lack of interest in keeping up with the housework) and know when to ask for outside help.

Tips for seniors include being assertive but not aggressive, pick your battles, optimise your energy by having conversations when you are at your best and compensate for weakness i.e. get a hearing aid or glasses if you need them.

Other tips include seek independence but avoid dependence, raise the issue rather than let the opportunity pass, defend yourself but don’t get defensive, look for points of agreement and be willing to listen and put yourself in their shoes.

For more information or a copy of the guide, see www.homeinstead.ie or call 1890-930013.

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